Maximum Ride Spork: Part Three


(Gah, I keep misspelling spork as sprok.)

So it turns out that mystery speaker is the Gasman, or Gazzy as Max calls him (I think I’ll just use that from now on). Apparently he’s been Gazzy ever since he was a baby (he’s now eight), which makes me wonder how Max and the others would have known those specific words before they escaped the school (no, he couldn’t have still been a baby when they escaped, as Angel is six). It also makes me wonder why there’d be such an age gap between the different kids, as I’d think all the experiments would be done at the same time–at the very least there’d I’d expect a discernible difference between their wings and stuff.

Max tells us that Gazzy is a sweet kid along with Angel, his younger sister (they’re actually blood related, unlike the rest of them). We’re still just being told stuff, as we haven’t met Angel yet and all Gazzy has done is offered to pour juice.

Iggy slouches into the kitchen and falls onto a couch with perfect aim. Apparently there’s a couch in their kitchen? And supposedly he’s blind, but Max says he only has trouble when they move the furniture. Not being blind, I’m not sure how feasible that is, but it gets worse. (I originally said being blind doesn’t work like that, but I don’t actually know that and I may have been rather offensive, so I edited.)

Max talks to Iggy a bit, then turns back to the fridge and hopes the food fairies have come, which leads me to believe they don’t have much food–reasonable for being out in the middle of nowhere, though I’d think they’d have run out of food, you know, a couple of weeks after Jeb disappeared as opposed to a couple of years.

Aaaaa, Fang appears right behind Max. Apparently he always does that; how, I don’t know.

And apparently Iggy can cook better than Max, despite being blind and six months younger than him (you know, six months isn’t a very long time… not exactly a gaping wound in Max’s pride there). I can understand him being innately better at cooking, but not if he’s blind. A lot of cooking depends on being able to actually see what you’re doing, so you don’t go dripping eggs everywhere or overcook the brownies or what have you. So there’s another impossibility!

Max goes to wake up Nudge (still waiting on why she’s named that, considering she talks a lot and isn’t nudgy or anything) and Angel. Nudge is unhappy to be woken up, but gets up anyway and then Max goes to the other side of the room to wake up Angel. She sleeps behind a curtain and likes small spaces (though I’d think it would be the opposite, having LIVED IN A CAGE), and Max finds her fully dressed in with her stuffed animals and books and clothing (just where did they get all those stuffed animals and books?).

Max has never told the others, but she just loves Angel:

Maybe because I’d been taking care of her practically since she was a baby. Maybe because she was just so incredibly sweet and loving herself. (pg 12)

I’m not sure why that “herself” is in there, as Max didn’t seem to be implying that she was sweet and loving too, but moving on:

“Maybe because I’m like your little girl,” said Angel, turning around to look at me. “But don’t worry, Max, I won’t tell anybody. Besides, I love you best too.” She threw her skinny arms around my neck and planted a somewhat sticky kiss on my cheek. I hugged her back, hard. Oh yeah–that’s another special thing about Angel.

She can read minds. (pg 12)

Four things here:

  1. Max was thinking about how it might be because she took care of Angel for so long, which is about the same as Angel being like Max’s little girl, and Angel should have known that if she picked up on Max loving her.
  2. Wouldn’t Max have thought that she loves Angel in Angel’s vicinity a while ago?
  3. This is the end of a chapter. That’s a two and a half page chapter there, again ending on a faux cliff hanger. If this was some sort of dramatic moment, that would be okay, but it’s not and this is just annoying.
  4. Doesn’t this sound like the beginning of a creepy fanfic?

Angel says she wants to pick strawberries over breakfast (though there’s no explanation that we’ve moved forward in time, and since the previous chapter breaks had no time gap this is just confusing). They all decide to go and la la la everyone has baskets and buckets and they go to a wild patch of strawberries… guk. Oh, and apparently Gazzy can mimic any sound or voice. How? Who knows! He just does, though it supposedly has something to do with them being birdkids. That’s not how genetics work, JPatterson. Oh! But then:

Next to me, Angel froze and screamed.

Startled, I stared down at her, and in the next second, men with wolfish muzzles, huge canines, and reddish, glinting eyes dropped out of the sky like spiders. Erasers! And it wasn’t a dream. (pg 14)

Again, a few things:

  1. Can anyone say comma overload?
  2. For the third time in 14 pages we’ve been told what Erasers are. Now I’m convinced JPatterson is writing for idiots.
  3. The sentence structure here is… weird, and doesn’t do a good job of being dramatic. It’s just kinda ugh.
  4. This is actually a good spot for a chapter break… if the other chapters didn’t make this be a two page chapter. Less when you take off the blank spaces.

Apparently Max and her family were trained not to think, but to act (when or why I don’t know) by Jeb, and so fight!


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