Maximum Ride Spork: Part Seven


Everyone is all scared from the news that Angel is in the School (why they didn’t know that already, I’ll never guess), and there’s a good Iggy quote:

Iggy’s spine tightened, his face like ice. When he’d been at the School, they’d tried to surgically enhance his night vision. Now he was blind forever. Oops.

“Oops” is a rather informal word for Iggy’s BLINDNESS, but I guess it’s apt if he can still take nice 100 yard runs through forests.

Gazzy asks why they’d take Angel back to the school and Nudge seconds the question, saying she’d thought they’d have forgotten after four years.

Why would scientists forget about the secret, escaped experiments they created…? I mean… I–I just… It makes no sense.

Fang says that they want them (Max and her family) back, which raises the question of why only Angel would have been taken when everyone was taken out. But that’s, you know, logic, and I believe I just learned logic no longer exists in this world. Maybe the scientists did that, too?

A bit of weird rational for not going to TV stations later, Fang leaves and comes back with a bunch of Jeb’s old files and opens up a manilla envelope–a map of the School, as well as a chapter break. Funnily, this mini-cliffhanger is practically an exact copy of the last one, ending with a School related note and beginning again with everyone all scared. 11 chapters in and JPatterson has already run out of dramatic moments.

There’s another weird bit with Nudge talking a lot, but it feels unnatural–it sounds kind of like when I try to speak really fast and say a lot, but don’t actually have anything to say… not like someone actually rambling. Anyway, Fang says that the School is 600 miles away, which is a seven hour flight (not including breaks).

A bit of math here. For it to be a seven hour flight for 600 miles, they’d be going about 85 miles per hour. The fastest recorded level flight speed in a bird is 106 MPH, but that, of course, is at the very high end–the low end of the top ten fasted level flight speed in birds is 65 MPH. So in order for Max and her family to achieve that as a seven hour flight, they’d have to be going at really good speeds, for a bird–only problem is, they’re not birds, they’re mostly human, and their human bodies would not be able to achieve such speeds.

Note that I spent about ten minutes doing that research, and yet I still spent more time on it that JPatterson. Splendid.

Anyway, Max decides that she, Fang, and Nudge will be going to the School to rescue Angel, while Gazzy and Iggy will stay behind as Iggy is blind and Gazzy is apparently too young. Iggy protests, saying Jeb would never have made them stay, but Max says Jeb is dead. Where that comes from, I don’t know, as she said he was missing, but regardless here ends the chapter, as well as the first part of the book (I forgot to say that this book has parts–since this one was 35 pages long, I wonder how many parts there will be).

What’s happened so far? The reader was introduced to a bunch of magical bird kids who somehow live in comfort despite having been on their own in a remote area for two years, some crazy animal creatures that, when logic is applied, seem to have no point to existing, and one of the magical bird kids got kidnapped. The unfortunate thing about this is that since Angel existed for all of maybe 20 pages and got maybe five lines, the reader has had no time to care about her, which makes it hard to care about this plot. But whatever, ACTION! BIRD KIDS! AMAZING!


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