Maximum Ride Spork: Part Twelve

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Chapter 25

The chapter starts with Nudge telling Fang that Angel’s “like a little sister, like everyone’s little sister.” No duh, Nudge!

Anyway, Fang reassures Nudge and suggests they learn flying from the birds! And apparently it was the longest “speech” Nudge has ever heard Fang speak. Considering it’s about 50 words, that’s saying something. Fang then runs and jumps, flying towards the hawks in a “hawk ballet.” Because a bunch of birds flying with a bird-kid looks so much like a ballet to an undereducated bird-kid, right?

Two nice, sort of sad pages and the chapter ends. If only the rest of the book was written like that!

Chapter 26

Aaand we’re back to Maximum Snark (haha I’m so funny for making up a nickname just like Max does–just for the record, this is a purposefully bad nickname)! She’s traveling through the woods, pressing her hand against her wound–and apparently every time she jostles the injury, blood oozes out of it.

But no pain or anything. Because she’s a bird kid, or something?

And Max is being SUPER careful for a bunch of “gun-carrying clowns”, even half-expecting them to bring dogs. Okay, likely a sensical way for a paranoid bird-kid to act, even if her other behavior isn’t consistent with that persona.

So Max is angsting and angsting and waaah, and then it rains. Because of course it does!

Then Max sees lights, and once she gets ten yards away (the prose specifies exactly this distance, so I guess it’s important) realizes it’s a house. Any guesses as to whose? Ella, of course! It’s not like we can have Max finding someone she doesn’t know, or something, because that would just be too bad!

After Max mentally accuses Ella of having 1.6 siblings (what does that even mean?), Ella leaves the house with her dog and Max moves towards her.

Chapter 27

We’re back to Angel, and after a bit of linear thought a couple of scientists come to get Angel. Apparently she bit one of the other scientists and got hit for it, and the scientists don’t like that because she’s Subject Eleven (capitalized because it is in the book)! Regardless, though, one of the scientists takes her blood (for the fourth time, and while my knowledge of whatever subject is relevant to this is limited, I don’t understand why they’d need so much blood) and the chapter ends.

Chapter 28

And now we’re with Iggy and Gazzy, and Iggy is saying to nobody how careful they’re being… just because, apparently. The prose is hinting some sort of great plan (oh man, I can’t take the suspense!) and then Gazzy goes out a window and flies! And that’s the chapter, really.

Chapter 29

Back to Max again, as she’s talking to Ella and feeling all ashamed for asking for help (you know those bird-kids who were endlessly tortured and tormented have such a sense of pride!). And as Max is following Ella inside, she suddenly becomes really afraid or something?

Guess what. I hesitated. Here was the moment of decision. Until I stepped into that house, it could still turn and run, escape. Once I was in that house, it would be much harder. Call it a little quirk of my personality, but I tend to freak out if I feel trapped anywhere. We all do–the flock, I mean. Living in a cage during your formative years can do that to you. (pg 89)

Oh man, that last line is just too good! Let’s play a game with it, shall we?

“You know, we tend to be pretty humble. Living in a cage during your formative years can do that to you.” “Oh, hey, we’re not much for the pop culture references or anything. Living in a cage during your formative years can do that to you.” “I’m really not that sexist or anything. Living in a cage during your formative years then being saved by a guy can do that to you.”

Okay, I think that’s enough.

Showing a nice amount of sense, Max gets over her horrible trauma of being stuck with the girl she just saved! and goes inside. And apparently Ella has only a mom, no dad. Why she needed to specify that… I really don’t know. And she acts pretty calm for someone who just found out this mysterious girl who saved her from bullies has gotten shot–certainly calm enough to “stride into the house” (I changed “strode” in the original version to “stride” to keep with the present tense racaps).

And then, upon realizing there’s BLOOD on Max’s wound, Ella yells for her mom and the chapter ends.

Chapter 30

Now we’re with Iggy and Gazzy, who are finishing their traps for the Erasers (just a trip-wire bomb, NBD for an 8-year-old and a blind kid!). Gazzy hopes that Max has already rescued Angel and imagines Angel being dead.

Something interesting I’ve noticed: everyone refers to the scientists as “whitecoats”. Max’s narration, the third person limited perspective, everything. Now, my question: why? Where did this term come from? Why is it used by all the bird-kids, even in third person narration? Since it’s used as a slang term, it’s odd for the non-Max narration to use it (even with the close-up perspective) and it doesn’t seem like a logical thing to call them.

Oh, of course. Logic. There’s no logic in bird-kidland!

So they fly up to go back home, and Iggy says how he wished they could have used “Big Boy” but they’ll actually have to see the bad guys to use it.

…So why did he bring it up in the first place? Oh, and then this:

Maybe tomorrow, the Gasman said encouragingly. “We’ll go out and see what havoc we’ve wreaked.”

“Wrought,” said Iggy. (pg 92)

So the bird-kid who’s been second-hand internet-educated (assuming the others read to him) for a few years is correcting the other’s grammar.

Riiight.

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4 responses »

  1. Wow. What a moron, either the character or author…the past tense of wreak is wreaked. Past tense of work is wrought (wrought iron). Trying to look all smart n shit, like people who misuse “ironically”.

  2. Ella is important because she’s Max’s half sister. She has no dad because if she did, he’d get in the way in the rest of the series. The whitecoats are called that because of their-gasp!- WHITE LAB COATS. Wow, what a concept! Max half expects there to be dogs because of the dream she had in the beginning. 1.6 siblings: A common thing people used to tell their daughters. By the time their thirty, they’re supposed to have 3.6 kids (3 kids and a fourth one on they way) a house, and a dog. She got scared to enter the house because she isn’t trusting, and she’s claustrophobic. And FYI, that last line you were messing with? You need to take the whole paragraph into account. Being trapped in a cage during your childhood WOULD do that to you. Blood on the wound? Well, she was covering it up, and how much do you want to bet Ella was in a bit of a shock to see Max there? And the grammar thing? Who says the internet can’t teach you grammar?

    • Okay, so a word of warning: this spork was written quite a while ago, so my memory is kinda fuzzy on it. Anyway! Thanks for commenting, and I’ll respond now.

      “Ella is important because she’s Max’s half sister.”

      I’m not sure I ever said Ella wasn’t important??

      “She has no dad because if she did, he’d get in the way in the rest of the series.”

      And I don’t think I ever questioned why she doesn’t have a dad?

      “The whitecoats are called that because of their-gasp!- WHITE LAB COATS.”

      Actually, I think I agree with you–because of the books’ third person limited perspective when we’re not with Max, it would stand to reason that this term is being used because of the other members of the flock, and it does seem like a logical term for the kids to use given that it probably would’ve originated before they had more advanced words to use.

      “Max half expects there to be dogs because of the dream she had in the beginning.”

      Did I ever question why she expects there to be dogs?

      “1.6 siblings: A common thing people used to tell their daughters. By the time their thirty, they’re supposed to have 3.6 kids (3 kids and a fourth one on they way) a house, and a dog.”

      Huh, I’ve never heard that. Thanks for telling me!

      “She got scared to enter the house because she isn’t trusting, and she’s claustrophobic.”

      …Okay? I never really made a big deal out of her being afraid. (Though it must be noted that she’s never had any issues with entering houses based on claustrophobia, so no, that’s not it.)

      “And FYI, that last line you were messing with? You need to take the whole paragraph into account. Being trapped in a cage during your childhood WOULD do that to you.”

      I never said it wouldn’t. The messing I did was showing other things that it would’ve done but she doesn’t do.

      “Blood on the wound? Well, she was covering it up, and how much do you want to bet Ella was in a bit of a shock to see Max there?”

      Sounds reasonable enough!

      “And the grammar thing? Who says the internet can’t teach you grammar?”

      The question is not whether or not the internet can teach you grammar, but whether or not Iggy would have learned grammar. Given that the correction he made is superficial and specific, I’d say that no, it doesn’t make sense for him to have learned it.

      Again, thanks for commenting! Opposing opinions are always very valuable.

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