The Kirkovitch ISBI Chapter 1: I Have No Title, Sorry


With the abrupt death of the Flitt Legacy, there was only one thing to do: start again! But this time I wanted to try something different, namely the I’m Surrounded By Idiots (or ISBI) challenge. The challenge is quite similar to a normal legacy, at least some of the time (its rules aren’t very concrete for the Sims 3, as it originated in the Sims 2 and never got an official update). For the purpose of this story, however, it’ll be pretty simple: only the heir is controllable, with a couple of exceptions.

First, I can give my sims makeovers at will (though not in a cheating fashion, i.e. sending them for a makeover to keep them from finding out about their spouse’s affair), because I can’t handle looking at ugly sims; second, I can give sims a job, though only one and I can’t make them quit; and third, each sim gets one move per life stage (toddler, child, and so on), which is non-stackable (so if I don’t use their toddler interaction, I don’t get two when they’re a child).

With that out of the way, let’s get started!

Meet Lincoln Kirkovitch. He’s a Hot-Headed, Athletic, Brave, and Charismatic Diva with the lifetime wish to reach level nine of the sports career. His favorite music genre is roots, and he likes the color orange and goopy carbonara.

Hi, Lincoln!

“Dude, it’s hot out here! Do I get a house or what?”

Yes, actually! Since this isn’t a legacy, there aren’t any lot restrictions, so I moved Lincoln into an empty lot on the cliff down to the beach and built a little house. It’s mostly ugly, but meh, I’ll be renovating it soon enough.

Lincoln’s first step was to get a job, because money is a necessity. He entered the sports career, of course.

His second step was to go to the gym, to spouse hunt and work out at the same time (he’s gotta have athletic skill for his job). Unfortunately, the place was filled with kids and teens.

I’m at a loss for why kids would go to the gym, but moving on.

“Oh my god, what if I die?”

Because the gym totally makes me think about death.

“So, I heard there was a legacy founder on the lookout for a spouse…”


Next up I sent Lincoln to the local club, MN8 or something.

Unfortunately, there were no appropriate matches for Lincoln, so I let him take some pictures in the photo booth.

“I look amazing!”

Next he went to the Rodeo-a-Go-Go; nobody.

Then to the “coffeehouse…”

…Where there was just this woman, who was boring-looking and seemed to be a full adult, anyway.

Then was to Mick’s Master Karaoke; again, nope.

So Lincoln returned home and adorned his kitchen wall with the pictures he got from the photo booth.

Not bad, if I do say so!

“Oh come on, do I really have to eat these?”

Sorry, but you burnt them, you eat them. We don’t have time for cooking new food in this ISBI!

After downing his overcooked waffles, Lincoln headed back down to the gym.

Ooh. This girl, Lanya Avilla, completely fits the bill of “attractive, but not boring.” Lincoln, go talk to her!

“So, are you single?”

“One hundred percent!”

Not only that, but she and Lincoln are both Athletic, have compatible signs, and she’s a Hopeless Romantic. This should be a piece of cake!

“Whoa whoa whoa!”

“Look, just because we’re really compatible doesn’t mean you can just up and kiss me. You have to woo me!”

“Oh, okay. If I have to.”

Come on, Lincoln, you can wait a few days to kiss your true love.

Because this is totally less intimate than a kiss.

“So, uh, would you like to be my girlfriend?”


Huh. I’ve never had two sims enter a relationship without kissing before.

Yeah, I don’t understand this. Lanya still won’t kiss Lincoln.

“Sorry, Lincoln, but I like to take it slow. Call me tomorrow, okay?”

“I don’t understand why she won’t kiss me!”

Sheesh, Lincoln, just wait for tomorrow. It won’t kill you.

The next day, I give Lincoln his own workout machine since he’s done with his spouse hunt.

It was soon time for him to greet Lanya, however.

Well, that was easy.

“Hey, wait! I’ll totally kiss you, Lincoln, but don’t think you get to make out with me for at least another day.”

*Sigh* Cue romance spam!

Okay, let’s try this again.

“The heck are you doing?”

“I’m out of here!”

Okay, I officially fail.

The next day… (And no, Lincoln is not dancing.)

“Who’s that at the door?”

It’s Lanya, you dummy!

That didn’t take long.

“So, Lanya, I have a question…”

“Will you marry me?”

Uh oh, that face doesn’t look good…

“Of course I will!”


Well, then.

“Hello, I’m here to fix your TV.”

Then get on with it!

Really terrible picture, but Lincoln got a promotion.

The next morning, Lincoln threw a bachelor party. He only knew two guys (and I didn’t want to invite any women, especially since most of them were his coworkers), so it was a ridiculously small party.

“Aagh! Gak, stop that!”

Cut it out, Lincoln, you’re sending his head through the wall!

“So, would you make a toast, man-whose-name-I-don’t-remember? Also flags.”

“Sorry, but I don’t–wedding cake–know you well enough to do that. Anyway, there’s only one person to hear it aside from you. Then there’s the matter of you pushing my head through the wall…”

And thus the party ended in disaster. *Sigh*

The next day was the wedding party, however, which I hoped would go better.

Especially since I blew all of Lincoln’s money on the chairs and wedding arch.

“Hi, Lincoln!”

First to arrive was the repair-girl, who was also forty-five minutes early.

“What? I commit when I get invited to a party.”

“Boo! You suck, Lincoln!”

Um. Right.

Soon all of the party’s guests had arrived, with one notable exception: Lanya.

So I had Lincoln invite her over in the hopes of fixing the issue, but it didn’t work.

Then I found her clear across town.

Lanya, what are you doing?

“I dunno!”


I had Lincoln call her again, and thankfully she took off for his house.

Because of her lateness, the wedding very nearly took place at sunset.

Never mind that there were only three guests left.

Obligatory wedding shot.


Aw, has the wedding got you sentimental?

“No, I wanted to marry Lincoln!”

Oh. A bit late for that.

“That’s why I’m crying!”

“So, Lanya, the creator says that we have to make babies to keep the legacy going…”

Guys, the wedding was over hours ago. Go home!

I eventually had to reset them.

Anyway, here’s Lanya Kirkovitch, an Athletic Perfectionist who’s a Bookworm, a Hopeless Romantic, and a Computer Whiz. Her favorite food is grilled salmon, and she likes indie music and the color lime. Her lifetime want is to be a professional author, but as that involves writing books, which doesn’t happen autonomously, I gave her a job in the sports career.

So until next time, happy simming! (That is, if you sim. If not, happy whatever-it-is-you-do.)


2 responses »

    • Thanks for the condolences; I really hated those glitches.

      Yeah, I actually got that hair for a downloaded sim, and after getting rid of the sim I went “well, *this* hair won’t ever be used” and then it fit Lincoln perfectly. XD

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