The Kirkovitch ISBI Chapter Two: Birthdays, Birthdays, and More Birthdays


“Hee, I’m married!”

Lanya, will you please go home? It’s been hours.

“Maybe you should turn on free will first.”

Oops. Turns out that after killing the Flitts, I had forgotten to turn free will back on so my sims could act autonomously.

There we go.

Lanya, this isn’t quite what I had in mind when I asked you to go home.

“What? It’s not like I’m tired or anything.”

She eventually goes to sleep… at five A.M. *Sigh*

Ooh, look who got wedding presents! (Also note the car in the background, which Lanya came with. I forgot to snap a picture of it last time.)

Well, only technically–Lincoln was able to write thank you notes and all, but the gifts didn’t actually show up.

“Aaargh! The sink broke!”

I swear, this is some sort of legacy tradition, isn’t it?


Aw yeah, generation two’s on its way!

“So yeah, I’m totally pregnant! Isn’t that just awesome?”

Yeah, Lanya, chat to some random guy about your pregnancy. Don’t bother to fix the sink or anything.

“Hey, I’m pregnant! I can’t be fixing the plumbing!”

Lincoln ended up having to take care of it. I’m not even sure sims can autonomously fix things, so it probably had to be him regardless.

Oh, so you can’t fix the sink, but you can work out?

“Hey, I’m not the one who programmed the game to let me do this!”


I mean, look at your husband! He’s actually reading a pregnancy book!

“Oh shut up! You made him do it!”

Aw, how sweet!

…Or not.

I mean, yikes. That would not be a welcome sight if I were a baby.

The next day…

“Eh? What’s that?”

I don’t know; let’s go see.

“Oh my god my wife is in labor!”

“Honey, you knew this was going to happen! Can we get to the hospital already?”

“But I’m too panicked to drive!”

“Oh yeah, I’m buff!”

Really, Lincoln? Really?

Oh come on! Lincoln, wait for your wife!

In the end, though, everything went okay.

And since I never properly got to play generation four of the Flitt Legacy, I’m continuing its naming theme and calling this little boy LapTrap, after the floating robot computer thing from the ClueFinders games.

And with the new baby comes a new house!

Okay, only sort of. I just added a nursery and extended the living area.

“Who’s a cutie? Who’s a cutie?”

Okay, you have redeemed yourself, Lincoln.

Lanya, on the other hand, has decided to sleep in a sleeping bag instead of using her bed.



I think this would be cooler if they weren’t bathed in the pink light of a flamingo.

I really should get rid of that thing.

Yay, birthday! Now we get to see if LapTrap is awesome or not.

Hmm. Let’s give him some real hair, see what he looks like.

Survey says: he’s adorable!

It helps that he’s doing the thing with the feet. I find that animation unbearably cute.

Anyway, LapTrap is a Heavy Sleeper who Hates the Outdoors, and likes rockabilly music, french toast, and the color spiceberry.

Obligatory toddler skilling shot.

“So, LapTrap, can you say ‘ladybug that is going to call its swarm and smother us to death under the horrible scurrying feet of disgusting, evil bugs?'”


“Ugh! LapTrap is in my way!”

What are you even trying to do?

Gag–I–Uh oh…”

Don’t puke on the baby!

This is LapTrap’s imaginary friend, by the way, whom I named GLaDOS after the robot from Portal.

Okay, Lincoln’s off to work… I can only hope Lanya won’t accidentally kill LapTrap while he’s gone.

I decided to do a tiny bit of landscaping while he was out.


Baby two of generation two is on its way!

Actually, it turns out that nothing of note (just toddler skilling and promotions) happened during Lanya’s second pregnancy, so labor time it is!

Lincoln, your wife is in labor!

“So? I have to go to work!”

And so Lanya had a home birth, producing Ebon Hawk here.

Ebon Hawk is named after the spaceship from the Knights of the Old Republic games. Because ships are female, right?

Soon enough it was time for LapTrap’s birthday.

Is it just me or is it always really creepy when toddlers do this?

“Haha, I’m a big boy now!”

LapTrap gained the Daredevil trait.

It was at this point that Lincoln wished to have a child, as well as to send LapTrap to boarding school. So…

“Yeah, I’d like to enroll my kid in boarding school! His name? It’s LapTrap. Yes, LapTrap. What, do you think that name’s weird?”

“Oh no, Dad’s sending me away? That makes me feel so sick!”

This is the best post-makeover picture I have of LapTrap, unfortunately. I just tweaked his hair a bit, really.


I really love this interaction. It’s just so cute!

Meanwhile, I give Lincoln a chemistry station so that he can get a specific potion I want.

Because she deserves screen time, here’s Ebon Hawk chilling in her crib with her imaginary friend, T3-M3 (named after the robot from the Knights of the Old Republic games).

The next day, LapTrap was off to boarding school…

…While it was time for Ebon Hawk to become a toddler.

I dunno, setting your baby down on the kitchen floor so she can become a toddler seems kind of mean.

“Tee hee.”



Ebon Hawk is a Brave Genius who likes pop music, hot dogs, and the color lime.

“Another baby?”


Um, Lanya, I’m not sure those shoes are appropriate maternity wear.

Ebon Hawk, that’s a puddle of urine overflow you’re playing in.


“Labor time!”

Yikes, three in one chapter?

Meet Monumental! I named her after the character in Demon’s Souls, which Dark Souls is the sequel of. So yes, I did sort of use the same franchise twice, but Kaathe barely counts.

“Ebon Hawk, can you say high heeled shoes?”

“Papa, I want to go to bed!”

And because EA’s tuning is really weird, Monumental got an imaginary friend as well. I named him Old One, after the antagonist of Demon’s Souls. Well, I guess he’s only sort of the antagonist, but moving on.

Oh yeah, party time for Ebon Hawk’s and Monumental’s birthdays!

Ignore the broken sink in the background.

Okay, the pary’s started, time for the cake!

“TV’s broken!”


So here’s Monumental.

And here’s… uh…


“I’m a kid now!”

“So could you get this lady’s butt out of my face?”

That’s your mom, Ebon Hawk. I can’t control her.

Hmm. Monumental certainly looks interesting. She’s also an Absent-Minded Loner who likes classical music, vegetarian lobster thermidor, and… actually, it seems I neglected to write down her favorite color. So, uh, sorry about that.

“Uh oh. Nobody saw that, right?”

You’re in the middle of a party, Ebon Hawk. I think everyone saw it.

Anyway, here’s the made over Ebon Hawk. The lighting isn’t very good here, but she’s pretty cute–I have a feeling she’ll be good-looking when she gets older. She got the Mean Spirited trait.

So that I don’t get kerfuffles over the bathroom, I tack one onto the nursery and add a bed to it for Ebon Hawk.

It’s here that I wrap up this chapter. See you next time!


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