Maximum Ride: School’s Out–Forever Spork Part 7

Standard

Chapter 66

Max is telling off Iggy and Gazzy for bringing bombs to school (and the flock is grounded, by the way), and when she heads to her room she notices the TV on in Anne’s room, set to the news. And gasp! It turns out Iggy’s parents are on TV, talking about how they lost a child fourteen years ago (brought up now since there are new disappearances).

Chapter 67

Max is now relaying the information to Fang and

“Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!”

He looked at me. “But we’re grounded,” he said with a straight face.

I stared at him for a second, and then we both burst out laughing. (pg 191)

Yeah, I really like these kids with their complete disregard for any kind of authority.

Chapter 68

Max and Fang are heading off to find Iggy’s parents’ house, and Fang is feeling hot (similar to how Max did before she did her mega-awesome flying), and he says that since he got Max’s blood and blood has DNA in it, it might have something to do with it.

I’m just throwing that out there, ’cause I don’t know enough about biology (that would be biology, right? See, I don’t even know the category!) to determine whether or not that’s stupid. What is stupid is that Fang would know this random information.

Anyway, they don’t find anything and head back, at which point I think Anne sees them, but the book is very vague about it.

Chapter 69

Another couple weeks pass “normally,” with Angel not getting up to any mind-control antics, Nudge getting invited to a birthday party, and oh yeah the guy from the library, Sam, asked Max out on a date and she said yes. Though for some reason Max just tells us in retrospect as opposed to actually having it be a scene, which should have been a good character moment: Max grew up in a cage, blah blah blah, so how would she react when asked on a date?

But nope, we just get told, because telling instead of showing is Maximum Ride’s shtick.

Chapter 70

So Max is going on her date with Sam to the movies…

The film we saw was an incredibly violent military-espionage-action thing that looked like home movies from my childhood. (pg 197)

So, here we have Max, who grew up in a cage and in seclusion up in the mountains.

Mostly I sat in the dark, analyzing fight scenes and praying that Sam wouldn’t try to hold my hand. What if my palms were sweaty? (pg 197)

And here we have Max, worrying about sweaty palms.

They just don’t add up.

(Also, whatcha doin’, “Mostly?” If Max only mostly sat in the dark, what was she doing the rest of the time?)

So then the movie’s over and Sam holds Max’s hand and she’s fine with it, and then they go for ice cream and she thinks about how far she could throw the table.

Least. Consistent. Character. Ever.

Oh and then Ari is outside the shop.

Chapter 71

And then nothing happens.

Chapter 72

And then Sam kisses Max.

(I’m bored.)

Chapter 73

Max is talking with Fang when realization!

Then it hit me. I’d thought I’d seen my reflection in the window. But I hadn’t.

I turned slowly and looked at Fang. “Ari had me with me. There was a me outside the window.” (pg 205)

Then Max tells Fang about how she saw herself as an Eraser.

Chapter 74

This is also part 4, “There’s No Place Like Home.”

Why there was a part break here, when there is no thematic change, no previous plotlines have been resolved, or really is there any difference between the last part and this one…

*Sigh*

This is an Ari chapter, by the way, but nothing actually happens–it’s just angst on his part because people love Max and nobody loves him!

Which I don’t think is all that bad characterization, honestly. It’s kinda trite, but I don’t feel it’s too poorly handled. It’s still Maximum Ride, of course, so I don’t really care about Ari or his plight, but at the very least it’s not egregiously bad.

Chapter 75

Fang gave me a long-suffering and not very worshipful glance, then looked past me at the modest suburban brick house. It was dinky, old-fashioned, but, given how close it was to DC, probably worth almost half a million dollars. Note to self: Invest in DC real estate. Save up your allowance. (pg 212)

I feel like a broken record, but it must be said: Where is this information coming from, Max?

Anyway, Max and Fang are at Iggy’s parents’ house (and though Max says she doesn’t know for sure, come on, we all know) and they meet Iggy’s mother under the lie of selling a newspaper.

Chapter 76

We’re now with Iggy and Gazzy, who are looking for some hidden files they heard about previously in the school’s basement. There’s actually a bit of “agh I can’t see I hate this” type narration from Iggy which, while still telling instead of showing, is at least something.

Then they find the files and it’s information on how the school used to be an insane asylum until two years ago (!), and then they’re heading back up when they find a doorway that leads to a tunnel.

Chapter 77

I was kind of dreading seeing Sam again at school. Would he blow me off? Had he told anyone about us kissing? Would I get teased and therefore have to kick serious butt? (pg 217)

Because these are the concerns of a bird kid who grew up without proper human contact.

So Iggy and Gazzy tell Max about their file-hunting, and it turns out that while the school’s website says it’s been in the same building since 1985, the internet only has records going back two years. How an assumedly public school can suddenly just appear, claiming to have been in existence for twenty years, and have nobody bat an eyelash, I don’t know.

Also Angel mind controlled the president into diverting funding (nearly a billion dollars, no less) from the military to public education and shelters for homeless women and children.

I–

I–

ANGEL IS A SIX-YEAR-OLD. She has no place to be messing with the government!

Am I acutally supposed to like this character?!

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