I just want to take a moment to say that we’re currently three thirds of the way through the book and so far no plot has been resolved. Though I suppose for it to be resolved there has to be a plot in the first place; so far, this book has just been “living with Anne, school, finding our parents, blah blah blah.” Hopefully we’ll now get some semblance of plot since the flock are no longer with Anne, but I’m not optimistic.
Max meets up with Fang, fight scene, then Ari’s there and Ari on Fang fight scene!
Why isn’t Max helping? Well, because this:
I wanted to jump in and help, but I sensed it was one of those boy things and I should stay out of it unless Fang was really getting his butt kicked. (pg 270)
Max, how is Ari attacking your brother a “boy thing”? Why is it not appropriate for you to jump in and help your freaking brother because he’s being attacked by another boy?
And she says she isn’t sexist. HA.
(Well, okay, she just points out others’ supposed sexism, but that is much more bulky to say.)
No other Erasers seemed to be around, amazingly, and choppers didn’t suddenly appear. It was just your basic one-on-one mutant-vs.-mutant fight. (pg 270)
How convenient for the “drama” of this scene.
Anyway, Fang knocks out Ari or whatever. I really don’t care about anything going on in this book anymore.
Max and Fang get to the bat cave and Angel says why not go to Florida (because of Disney World. Don’t ask me how she knows so much about Disney World or cares about it for that matter)? so they decide to go to Florida.
Part 5 as well, called “Back to Saving the World.” Because apparently that was ever something they were doing?
We’re with Ari for this chapter, as for some reason he’s telling Jeb his kidnap Max plan. Jeb, for some reason, decides to go along with this plan.
(I know I keep reusing terms but that’s only ’cause the book reuses nonsense.)
These villains just aren’t very consistent or threatening or interesting or any good adjective for a villain to have.
Have you ever–no, I guess you never have. If you’ve never flown with hawks, there’s no way you’d be able to understand what it’s like. Maybe if you’ve swum with sharks or something, not like at SeaWorld but in the ocean. That might be kind of close to this feeling. (pg 279)
If there’s no possible way I could understand this sensation, Max is just gloating.
Real nice, Max.
Irrelevant stuff and then Total gets knocked out of Iggy’s arms oh no!
Max drops to find Total, lands on a glider plane because of course she does, and grabs Total.
Real tense, exciting scene there. Real relevant to the plot at hand, too. (That being serious, as there is no plot.)
Ari is in a department store, and we get treated to some obnoxious, Max-like narration. Also this weird bit:
Oh, so gross, the underwear department. There was a lady right there, holding a bra! Out in the open! Oh, my God–was she crazy? Ari turned away and kept walking, fast. (pg 287)
Then he sees Game Boys, gets one unclipped from its display (is this standard practice, selling a handheld right from the display? I’d think he’d get a box) by an employee, and then walks off with it, starting to play a game that for some reason is loaded onto this new Game Boy that’s intended for sale.
JPatterson, I know it’s hard, but please at least try to do a bit of research into how handhelds work before featuring them in your story. See, the thing is, the Game Boy was released in 1989 by Nintendo. The Game Boy Advanced SP, the newest Game Boy line handheld, was released in 2003. The Nintendo DS, Nintendo’s successor to the Game Boy, was released in 2004.
Now, while Game Boy is an acceptable term for Game Boy Advanced SP, there is no getting around the fact that by 2005, the time this book is set in, the Game Boy would be obsolete. So.
Ari leaves the store and morphs into an Eraser to scare away the guards.
I’m really not sure what’s going on. Is this a real, published book? Because it seems like some sort of random fan fiction… thing that is just a collection of random scenes of a person’s favorite characters.
A hundred chapters and the most plot development has been Iggy finding his parents and then not staying with them.
Nothing relevant actually happens in this chapter.
“How long till we get to Florida?” Nudge asked. “Are we really going to Disney World? DO you think we’ll see anyone famous? I want to go to the Swiss Family Tree-house. I want to see Beauty and the Beast and get their autographs. I want to see the Tree of Life–” (pg 294)
The heck, Nudge? You grew up in a cage and in isolation in the mountains. Why do you care so much about Disney World?
Bizarre, inconsistent characters aside, the flock decide to go to the beach.
Actually, that’s just more weird characterization, because for some reason they love the beach so much?
Max does her super-flying to get to the beach first, and…
It was time for the chip to go. The Voice came from the chip, I was sure of it. No chip, no Voice inside my head that I couldn’t get away from. I pressed my lips together hard and started sawing at my forearm, where I had seen the chip on an X-ray, three lifetimes ago, in Dr. Martinez’s office. (pg 298)
The flock arrive at just the time it’s convenient (as Max has damaged herself but not too seriously) and Fang starts fixing up Max’s arm.
They keep telling me I’m supposed to save the word, but how, and from what, I don’t even know.” [Max said.]
Angel reached out and patted my knee. “From, you know, after everything gets blown up and most of the people are gone. We’ll be stronger, and able to fly, so we can leave the blown-up parts and find some nice land that isn’t blown up or contan–contama–”
“Contaminated?” Iggy provided, and Angel nodded.
“Yeah, that. Then we can keep on living, even if there are hardly any people left.” (pg 301)
Turns out Angel got this information from her handy-dandy mind-reading while at the School (stuff that very conveniently was never mentioned during the book she was actually at the School in), and that the School’s scientists theorize a single company will be responsible for the bombing.
(I think it’ll be EA.)
So, uh, that’s a plot, I guess? Yay?
“Hey!” said Angel, standing up in knee-high water. “I can talk to fish!” (pg 305)
Well, that piece of ridiculousness seems like a good place to end this spork.