Maximum Ride: School’s Out–Forever Spork Part 10

Standard

Chapter 105

Angel talks to a bunch of sharks and has them head over.

I guess this is supposed to be funny?

Chapter 106

The flock head down to the Ocala National Forest (oh, and in case I forgot to say, they’re in Florida now).

An hour later we had a small fire going and were roasting things on sticks. I was so used to eating this way that even if I were, like, a grown-up making breakfast for my 2.4 children, I would probably be impaling Pop-Tarts on the ends of sticks and holding them over the fire. (pg 309)

I’m not a huge fan of how this is worded (especially with the unnecessary “like” cluttering things up), but I do find this humorous.

However, one funny aside in 300 pages of asides isn’t really good enough for me.

Everyone’s antics-ing when Max’s magical neck hairs tell her someone’s watching. Angel then confirms this.

Chapter 107

The presence Max sensed turns out to be a small boy and girl, who devour a bunch of the flock’s food (don’t ask me how they obtained the food, because I don’t know) before telling their story:

“We got kidnapped,” said the girl,

The boy nodded tiredly. “In south Jersey. From two different places–we’re not related.”

“We escaped a couple times. Even made it to the police station.”

“But both times our kidnappers were already there, like, filing missing-kid notices. They just found us again, real easy.”

“So, who were your kidnappers?” Fang tried.

“They were, like, doctors,” the boy said sleepily, laying down too. “In white coats.” (pg 313)

This, of course, frightens the flock because oh no scientists and stuff!

(Also it was at this point that I noticed most underage characters in the book overuse the word “like.” Apparently in JPatterson’s mind all kids are valley girls.)

Chapter 108

Max is on watch early in the morning when the boy and girl wake up and slink off away from the flock, at which point the girl starts speaking to a pen-like microphone. Max pounces on them, of course.

Chapter 109

Max interrogates the kids, who were forced by their scientist kidnappers to… do something. See, as far as I can tell, the entire plan of the scientists was “send these kids in to where the flock are and have them tell us where the flock are.” As opposed to just sending in some trained soldier-people to shoot tranquilizer darts at the flock.

So why did this encounter even happen? To give Max the name of the eeeevul company, Itex.

(You know, just your standard “throw sense to the wind so characters know what they need to” stuff.)

Chapter 110

An hour later we were almost a hundred miles away. (pg 320)

I still can’t get over the ridiculous flight speeds of these kids.

“So, Itex,” I said to Fang.

“I told you it was like a deer,” Angel said.

“That’s ibex,” said Nudge. “And they’re more goatlike than deerlike.” (pg 320)

Broken record complaint with this series #20: where do these kids get their information from?

The flock head to a library to research Itex, and Max conveniently remembers how the Itex logo was on everything in the School.

Chapter 111

The flock are now on their way to the Itex company headquarters, which is in Florida because of course it is.

Also the younger members of the flock want to go to Disney (broken record complaint number #7: why do these kids care so much about “normal” kid things?) and Max gives in. Also:

“Who let whom have a freaking dog?” I responded. (pg 323)

Fun fact: just recently, I started trying to incorporate proper usage of whom into my vocabulary. I am not knowledgeable enough about how to use it to say if this is correct or not (I’d say it is, since “whom” could be replaced by “him,” but the guideline that comes from isn’t concrete), but I certainly have to wonder why Max of all people is using the word whom.

Chapter 112

Ari viewpoint chapter! Also a really short chapter as he is angry at the flock for going to Disney and makes Disney puns.

Chapter 113-114

These chapters are pretty much just product placement for Disney World so I am not recapping them. No way no how.

Chapter 115

Ari is waiting for the flock to come out of Splash Mountain when a kid comes up to him and thinks Ari’s Wolverine. Ari gives the kid an autograph because the kid makes him feel wanted.

Chapter 116

Max sees Ari so time to leave Disney!

Chapter 117

“Black Ranger to Feather One,” Total said softly. “Coast is clear. Come in, Feather One.”

“Total, I’m right here,” I whispered. “We don’t even have walkie-talkies.”

“No, but we should,” Total whispered back. “I should have one, and it could–” (pg 338)

The kids at least have the excuse of the internet and television, but where the heck did Total get such a comic-relief attitude living in a cage?

The kids end up in a junkyard with a bunch of cards, at which point Nudge displays car knowledge she apparently got from car magazines Jeb got.

You know, just your typical “character gets a bit of history and a skill mentioned just when it’s necessary and then it’s completely forgotten about” shtick.

Chapter 118

The flock are driving because of reasons. (Actually, I think they decided to be on the ground after running into a news chopper. News choppers apparently only existing in Florida, since they’ve never encountered them before.)

Chapter 119

The flock get pulled over by the police for speeding, but Angel uses her mind control so it’s all okay.

“I don’t know, guys,” she [Angel] said. “I really think maybe I should be the leader.” (pg 247)

If Angel wasn’t so darn creepy (and this line was just a joke–apparently Angel was half-serious), this would actually be funny.

Chapter 120

The flock reach Itex, at which point they decide to come back tomorrow for a tour.

Chapter 121

I just want to point out that the book’s nearly over and barely anything has actually happened.

The flock are now at an inn that they somehow got into…

Chapter 122

…And then Max gets kidnapped and the Max clone heads into the room.

I can’t wait to see what idiotic plan this is a part of.

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6 responses »

    • I remember it being stupid, too, but what’s weird is that all of my memories of these books include the stupid bits and yet I don’t remember thinking they were stupid. Like I was just some sort of emotionless looker-on.

  1. Jeez! All this pointless filler, esp. about disney world! Also why does itex need to send two kids out when the (usually) useless erasers can at least smell where they are at. Also they could locate the flock via the microchip in Max’s arm. And why drive when they can fly at super speed? This series…

    • Max speculated randomly about the kids being sent so that the flock could know about Itex, but that completely interferes with the whole “send Erasers to attack them” plan so honestly I have no idea what’s going on any more.

  2. Wait…Angel can communicate with sharks? And…there’s DISNEYLAND? :/

    Oh, and Ari really creeps me out, what with his obsession with Max.

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