The Kirkovitch ISBI Chapter 5: Ebon Hawk: Private Investigator


Sorry for the lack of posts recently; I’ll try to be faster!

Hello and welcome back to the Kirkovtich ISBI! Here we have Ebon Hawk eating some rotten cake…

…And here we have her getting her first kiss with T3-M3.

“So, would you like to go steady?”

“But of course!”

She’s vomiting because she ate rotten cake, not because she’s pregnant.

I think.

(Ooh, mystery that won’t be mystery because I won’t drag it out!)

Anyway, it was time for T3-M3 to get a makeover.

He doesn’t like making happy faces, it seems.

“No, this makeover just sucks!”

With her relationship status squared away, it was time for Ebon Hawk to become a private investigator!

Hmm, looks like Old One has caught the exercise bug. Must be all that training Lanya did.

But home life is boring: let’s focus on Ebon Hawk!

It’s here I introduce a new feature, “Ebon Hawk: Private Investigator”! I’ll be running it concurrent with the rest of this chapter. And that’s really all there is for me to say about it.

I’m going to keep talking, though.

My first day on the job, and I already had a case. Something about a troublemaker or something unimportant… I don’t keep notes.

I accepted the case, but only because of the dough it entailed: this would be too easy.

With nary a moment to ponder why the color had gone south, I sped off to lurk around our troublemaker’s house.

First on the agenda was checking the man’s mail, but it turned up zilch.

Left with only one choice, I plunged down into the depths of [Name Forgotten’s] cavernous trash can.

This venture proved lucrative.

“This man is up to no good!”

Evidence in hand, I was prepared to return to my client.

I kicked over his trash can for good measure.

Like I said, I don’t keep notes.

On to the next case! My new client, [Name Forgotten], suspected the company he worked for was up to some unscrupulous activities.

Not owning a computer, I headed down to the library in order to hack into this company’s database.

Back to the ISBI, the teens had just left a field trip when it would appear someone was dead.

Wait–LapTrap?! What are you doing dead?! You just became a young adult!

And what’s up with that ghost color, for that matter? I’ve never seen it before!



“The heck just happened?”

I have no idea.

With the new found knowledge that this company was indeed up to illegal activities, I returned to my client.

Before I could speak to him, however, my left hand went on another one of its rampages.

Oh, how I loath my left hand.

Her investigations done for the day, I sent Ebon Hawk down to the mausoleum to grab LapTrap’s gravestone…

…and, not wanting to bother making a graveyard just yet, I plopped down the grave next to the house.

Now, trivia time! After LapTrap’s death, I went down to the Mod the Sims forums and made a thread about this incident, as I didn’t recognize the ghost color (ghost colors being determined by the sim’s cause of death) and normally sims don’t just die.

Anyway, it turns out LapTrap died from the mummy’s curse, a death that comes with the World Adventures expansion pack.

I don’t have the World Adventures expansion pack.

So, that’s a mystery to stand the test of time. Or not; it’s kinda a poor mystery.

“Hey, Monumental, stop doing your homework so I can ask you to prom!”

I used his teen move to do this.

“So, uh, would you like to go to prom with me?”

“Ugh, no! Get away from me!”

Well, that didn’t work out as I expected. They have a good relationship and everything!

“Hey, you’re my girlfriend, right? Does that mean you’ll kiss me?”

“I’m studying logic, T3, not now!”

With Lincoln and Lanya in high-level career positions and Ebon Hawk newly working, I was able to afford furnishings for the reading nook.

It looks very nook-y.

“Hi, I–”

NO. My sims are skilling; they can’t be bothered!

Here’s Mjolnir in an interesting pose.

Having been thwarted by my malicious left hand the previous day, I returned to my client and completed my case.

“Haha, this is so fun!”

Wait, where did you get a laptop?

Needless to say I sold it as soon as he stopped playing.

With the extra money, I did some landscaping. I also forgot that plants cost actual amounts of money, meaning the Kirkovitches are now broke.

It wasn’t long before a new case beckoned me–some dame was looking for a book.

I headed down to the library to do some research–what the book was called, etc.

I promptly headed back to my client. Case closed!

You could always, uh, go home.

Or not; your choice. I really can’t do anything to stop you.

Another case: this time, a man who suspected someone was breaking into his house and causing him foot pain.

First things first, I went and talked to the man’s next-door neighbor.

She was a strange dame, but had the information I needed: according to her, the man’s lawn gnomes were being knocked over on a daily basis.

With this new information firmly seated in my mind-grapes, I headed down to the hospital for some research.

Turned out the man was sleepwalking and kicking down his lawn gnomes every night.

With my case closed, I headed back home to hibernate for summer.

Psst, there aren’t any seasons in the Sims 3 yet!

With my case closed, I headed back home to sleep. Here ends Ebon Hawk: Private Investigator.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lincoln is not getting along with T3-M3. But you could see that.

Monumental and Old One are still teens, by the way. Feels like it’s been forever.

Ooh look, a gnome!

I named it Eliza.

Uh, guys, that nook is for reading, not holding hands. Hence Ebon Hawk, you know, reading. Right in front of you.

But don’t mind me.

Oh, hi, LapTrap!

“I can’t get past my grave!”

…But you’re a ghost!

“Hello, younger sister’s boyfriend!”

“Hi, ghost!”

“I can’t get past the flowers!”

What a lame ghost.

This picture might be for Ebon Hawk getting a promotion, but I do know it is about chess. Because she’s playing chess.

Aww, bathroom hugs!

And… bathroom fighting.


Graduation time!

Way to look excited, guys.

I have the worst legacy sims ever.

“I’m hungry!”

Yeah, worst sims. They are just the worst.

Except for Ebon Hawk. Ebon Hawk is wonderful.

Though I suppose that’s mostly because I control her.

“I’m growing up! Soon there will be two less sims in your already-boring household!”

“Okay, I know I look all slyly happy and everything, but I’m boiling in this sweater while the sides of my head freeze. Please help!”

Right away!

“Sorry, but I gotta interrupt so I can grow up, too!”

Eh? Who’s this?

“Old One!”

Oh. I couldn’t tell in the dark. Why are you in the dark?

“‘Cause I never went home.”

Right. Swell idea, that.

I wish there was some sort of softly explosive sound effect to go with this animation.

Here is the made over Monumental.

I am extremely impressed by how unconventionally attractive she is.

Stats time! Monumental Kirkovitch is an Absent-Minded Loner who’s Insane, Handy, and an Angler. She likes classical music, vegetarian lobster thermidor, and, um, a color which I apparently forgot to write down.

Here’s the made over Old One, though I’ve since noticed that this picture has poor lighting. Oh well, he never had a personality anyway.

“You’re hurting my feelings.”

Hmm, articulately overemotional? That could’ve been interesting.

“It’s not overemotional when you’re a jerk!”

Apologies. (Really.)

No stats for Old One, because he’s unimportant. (Okay, I see it now.)

“Yep, I’d like to move out!”

And yes, Monumental’s formal outfit is a wedding dress. This will make Ebon Hawk’s wedding party quite interesting.

Also! This is the chapter end. 1300 word chapter this time, woo!


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