Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports Spork Part 2


Chapter 5

The flock visit the John F. Kennedy memorial in Dallas, because… okay? I don’t see why not, I guess. I also don’t see why.

“I still think there was a second shooter.” Total sniffed and flopped on the grass. (pg 19)

By the way, have I yet said just how little sense Total’s character makes? I mean, come on.

Then Fang decides that they’re going to go to a football game, because

The School and the Institute and Jeb and the rest of the whitecoats probably have feeds tapping every public camera. So they’ll know where we are.” (pg 21)

See, at first I thought this was sarcasm, because monitoring the entire country’s public cameras to search for kids who you supposedly have a tracking chip on is just ridiculous. But no, Fang actually wants to get seen by the bad guys–who have access to every public camera–because of some reason that Max finds reasonable for some reason. Something about learning the bad guys’ plan by getting attacked by the bad guys.

Chapter 6

I was wound tighter than a choke chain on a rottweiler, hating everything about being here. (pg 22)

Max, can you give me a copy of your simile (that’s a simile, right?) dictionary? It seems like it’d be awfully useful.

Unlike the others, he [Iggy] was as tense as I was. In a strange place, surrounded by loud, echoing noise, unable to get his bearings–I wondered how long it would take him to crack. (pg 23)

You know, I think it would be really interesting to see how Iggy would deal with not having echolocation, but apparently this would cause him to go insane. Somehow that sentiment doesn’t seem particularly nice to blind people. (But maybe I’m way off. Knowing me, there’s a fifty-fifty chance of that.)

And then someone recognizes the flock!

Chapter 7

Max suspects somebody got a picture of them when they left Disney, and now everyone knows the bird kids are there oh no!

“The game hasn’t even started,” Total said bitterly from under Iggy’s seat. “I have money of the bears!” (pg 26)

I feel obligated to share every cringe-worthy/rage-inducing quote from Total just to get across how horrible he, and by extension this book, is.

Max also shares with us that her wingspan is nearly thirteen feet. Saving that information for later, next time she decides to fly in the middle of a restaurant or something.

The flock leave the stadium without a hitch and no sign of Erasers. Apparently this is weird, even though the real weirdness was how the Erasers were before able to follow the flock around with bizarre, and conveniently timed, accuracy.

Chapter 8

As mad as I was about our being in that situation in the first place, … still–the feeling of flying in tight formation, all of us with wide, beautiful, awesome wings… it was just incredibly cool. (pg 28)

In tight formation, with thirteen foot wingspans. Those two things don’t mesh together very well.

Oh, and Fang’s blog got 121,000 hits in one day. Which, okay, now they’re becoming a sensation and I don’t know how long it’s been since the football game, but still. That’s a LOT of views, and I’m not sure I buy it. Scratch that; I definitely don’t buy it.

Then Max’s voice comes back. Goody.

Chapter 9

The voice spouts a bunch of cryptic stuff about connections and whatnot, then informs Max that all the Erasers are dead and that “recombinant-DNA experiments” are globally being retired.

Chapter 10

I thought about Ari, Jeb’s son, who had been Eraserfied, and felt a tugging pain in my chest. (pg 35)

This is the most remorse Max has ever shown about having killed Ari, by the way. The only remorse, too, if I remember correctly.


Anyway, Max tells the flock what the voice told her, and Fang says the flock should find a permanent home and forget about saving the world and whatnot.

Chapter 11

And apparently his 45-word speech was “the longest statement any of us had ever heard him utter.”

Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just rolling my eyes.

The flock all decide that finding a home (as in, a house) is definitely a good idea and definitely will be perfectly feasible and won’t require a ton of money and upkeep and all that fun stuff.

Chapter 12

Max is talking to Fang at eight thousand feet in the air about how she intends not to “give up the mission,” that is… um. Whatever it is she was intending to do? Save the world through means she doesn’t understand? It’s also, according to her, probably below freezing, but she’s certainly not, well, freezing, in her Florida attire.

Fang opened his mouth, but I interrupted. “Plus, now, thanks to you, we left the younger kids to be watched over by a blind guy and a talking dog. I must be insane! (pg 39)

You know, for someone who’s so keen on pointing out sexism (which I certainly don’t disagree with), Max is also completely ignoring that Iggy’s main drawback as an authority figure is his lack of maturity, not his lack of sight.

Max and Fang go back and forth, with Max being reasonable about how having a home won’t mean much if the world is killed, and Fang seeming to have absolutely no argument (I’m guessing because JPatterson couldn’t think of one). Finally, Max snaps and dives for the ground. Though I’m not sure what flying for the ground is going to accomplish.

Chapter 13

Now we’re with the rest of the flock…

Nudge rolled her eyes, and she and Angel shared a smile. She picked up a small handful of pebbles and carefully started distributing them among other little piles.

“Mancala, huh?” Total said, lying down next to them. “Next time we’re in a store, let’s lift some cards. We could play Texas hold ’em. I would kick your butts.” (pg 42)

Total’s only life before the flock was in a cage. Why does he know about Mancala and Texas hold ’em? And why is he so upbeat, for that matter? ‘Cause, remember, CAGE.

The answer is, Total is a horrible character. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

Aside from that, however, this chapter is surprisingly nice and low-key. Everyone’s just kind of chilling, and Nudge and Angel get a nice bit of interaction that actually seems natural and pleasant. Then they decide to go out and fly, and

A wide, thick swarm of Erasers was flying right toward them. They were back! (pg 44)

That second sentence is completely useless. I know they’re back, JPatterson! You just showed me that! There is no need to show and then tell the same thing!

That’s the end of the chapter, though, and since this part’s a decent length I’ll be stopping here.


4 responses »

  1. Now, out of no where, Max and the gangs’ wings grew from 10 ft. to 13 ft? How and why? That makes no sense. Also that mutt they are carrying around is annoying. They need to get a muzzle for it, and one for Max as well.

    • It was Max’s wings, specifically, that were thirteen feet–she said that Fang’s and Iggy’s were larger, and I’d assume the others have smaller ones. Also, where did that ten foot number come from?

      Ooh, or they could get a muzzle with a sword on it, like Koromaru! (No, you aren’t going to get that reference.)

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