The Final Warning Spork Part 2

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Chapter 5

Max is now in the jet, where the secret service agents apparently make her uncomfortable for no reason. Well, she says something about their attire, but given that they’re not wearing anything similar to people she’s had to fight before… it just doesn’t make sense. In addition:

Combine that with the inevitable heart-pounding claustrophobia that came from being enclosed in a small space, and I was basically ready to shred anyone who talked to me. (pg 18)

Who wants to bet that this won’t be mentioned again? Also note the way that Max tells us she’s feeling anxious without actually showing it. Even the mention of her heartbeat is in relation to the space, not what’s actually happening to her. Show, don’t tell, JPatterson!

Then Nudge becomes magnetic.

No, seriously. All of a sudden, she finds that she can attract metal to her when she wants to. Because… reasons? Or, as Jeb would say, science?

“I don’t know why you can do that,” he said slowly. “As far as I know, it was never programmed in.” He looked around at all of us. “It’s possible… It’s possible that maybe you guys are starting to mutate on your own.” (pg 21)

NOT HOW SCIENCE WORKS.

Chapter 6

You are reading Fang’s Blog. Welcome! (pg 22)

NO WHY.

Er. So, Fang informs the world at large about how he doesn’t like seeing the flock upset (which is a mixture of NO DUH and “this is the most awkward manner of getting across your character’s emotions”), then decides to answer some questions. Oddly, the questions he chooses to answer are all met with the same response: “Sorry can’t tell you that/no thanks!”

Fang is not a very good blogger.

Chapter 7

The flock are now in Washington DC, along with Dr. Martinez, who left Ella at home. Who’s caring for Ella, you ask? Why, I have no idea!

The flock interact for a little bit, managing to stick nicely to their cardboard personalities, though Nudge also branches out.

“Ooh, Max, you look really great!” she said, admiring my clothes. “That top is totally hot! You look like you’re at least sixteen!” (pg 27)

Like, what? Since when is she some sort of bizarre spout of things that teenagers supposedly say? This sudden shift in characterization makes no sense. Remember, she grew up in the mountains, and her only exposure to other kids was for a month or so, and that was a book ago.

Then Max’s capital V Voice shows up, talking to her for a moment before claiming that it’s not Jeb.

*Facepalm*

Does JPatterson pay ANY attention to what he writes? It’s like he doesn’t care what he did in the last novel, and just decides to write whatever random stuff he thinks is interesting. Only problem is, opening up a solidly closed subplot that was inane in its original incarnation IS NOT INTERESTING. It’s just silly. Derp derp how do write good book?

Now, I’m going to leave you here; I’m doing something special next week that requires the use of the next couple of chapters. See you on the 19th!

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One response »

  1. Oooh, something special! :D Excitement!

    Another great post, by the by. :)

    I have a theory that Nudge will grow up to become Magneto. I know that would involve her having to becoming an old Jewish guy in a funny hat who fights the X-Men, but that’s actually kind of probable considering the high am,ounts of insanity this book contains.

    Also, I am very disappointed in Fang for not filling his blog with emo poetry.

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