The Final Warning Spork Part 6


Just a short bonus update today since there’s a little gap between the last spork and the chapters I need for another Something Special.

Chapter 27

I don’t know how many of you have been on private jets, but golly, they’re sweet. (pg 93)

Max. Max, you were just on a private jet in the beginning of this book.

It was small but very lush, all decked out, similar to the other private jet we’d been on recently. (pg 93)

So why didn’t you tell us how “sweet” private jets are until now?

Oh, I know. BAD WRITING!

Oh, by the way, being on the plane does mean the flock have accepted the offer to go to some mystery place to save the world. Either JPatterson has decided to fill us in later (boring writing!) as to why Max agreed, or he had no idea how to convince Max so he just skipped forward (bad writing!).

There’s no one on the plane except for the flock, the scientist (Dr. Dwyer), and the crew, and Dr. Dwyer has the flock sit down against seats with their thirteen-foot wingspans tucked into their backs so they can buckle up. According to Dr. Dwyer, the plane is owned by “Nino Pierpont,” a super-rich man who Max says everyone knows about… and yet she still felt the need to tell us who he is. I mean, he IS  fictional, but it’s still sloppy writing to make unexplained pop culture references one moment and explain things we supposedly should know the next.

Dr. Dwyer says that the flock will be going to Argentina before taking a boat somewhere, and then the chapter ends.

Chapter 28

According to Max, the flock were very twitchy on the plane ride, though I don’t recall the same sentiment when they flew to Europe. You know, just minor details. It’s not like it’s the only actual effect of the School that JPatterson bothers to give the flock. Then they refuse to get into the car for claustrophobia reasons, which is odd considering that they never had claustrophobia issues with cars before.

You know, just basic continuity.

The flock travel by flying over Dr. Dwyer’s car once they land in Argentina, and…

In just a few minutes, we were at the ocean, the same ocean that we’d swum in off the East Coast of America. But this was the South Atlantic Ocean, and that had been the North. (pg 97)

Okay, so first, NO DUH, but second, what? It was the same ocean, but it wasn’t? Make up your freaking mind, Max. You can’t even be consistent within a single paragraph.

Anyway, they reach a “research boat” where Dr. Dwyer’s colleague, Dr. Papa, meets them, and it’s revealed that the point of this mission is to look into the effects of global warming in Antarctica.

And as we move into the most widely hated part of the book, I leave you. See you Wednesday!


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