The Final Warning Spork Part 8: Special Edition (Part 2)


Alright, here’s the second part of part 8, in which me and Alesand (that’s a new link from last time, if you’re interested) go through chapter 32 of The Final Warning.

“Frankly, you have unique abilities,” said Brigid in response to Fang’s question. “The Antarctic is an unpredictable and dangerous place, but someone who can fly to safety can take greater risks.”

EmotedLlama: …Why not take a helicopter, then?

Alesand: Or a small plane. Their easy to pilot. Just ask Colton Harris-Moore.

“But we don’t know anything about science,” I said. “Or not much, anyway. I mean, we can hack into computers. We know all kinds of other stuff. But we don’t know anything about global warming or the Antarctic.” Or about any of a million things they taught in schools, say.

EmotedLlama: So, Max doesn’t want to have to listen to anyone, she doesn’t want to learn, but she doesn’t want to be on the run. Just who does she think she is?

Alesand: Ain’t that the truth. She’s a deadbeat.

Brigid smiled, and I thought again how young she looked. She was a doctor, right?

“That’s okay,” she said. “You don’t need to become experts overnight. We have some specific jobs we can teach you to do.”

Alesand: Like how to keep their traps shut and being polite.

“But that’s not the only reason you’re here,” said Brian Carey, speaking up for the first time. “The truth is, you guys are very newsworthy. As soon as you surface, people take not, and you get into all the newspapers. So who better to get the message out to the world?”

EmotedLlama: So the best way to utilize winged humans is a spokespeople. Brilliant.

Alesand: Why not hire celebrities that endorse environmental protection such as these guys.

EmotedLlama: Because that would cost money, and the flock–who are minors–will presumably work for free.

Alesand: Don’t the scientists have a rich man backing their current expedition? Wasn’t he mentioned a few chapters ago to be the richest guy?

EmotedLlama: And yet their ship is nearly run-down. What.

Alesand: Maybe this “rich” guy is imaginary.

EmotedLlama: Either that or he’s a cheapskate.

Alesand: They might as well have received backing from pre-ghostal visitation Scrooge.

“And what message would that be?” Fang asked quietly, looking at Brigid.

“That our government needs to take global warming seriously,” she said directly to Fang. “That we need to develop alternative fuel sources, right now. That we need to slash our emissions of greenhouse gases. Plus, we need to do all we can to slow down the extinction by the year 2050 of more than a million species of animals, insects, and plants.”

EmotedLlama: So our current plot is “the flock are going to tell the government to be more environmentally conscious.” This is just ridiculous.

Alesand: The flock has already left a bad impression in D.C. I doubt the government will listen to them now.

EmotedLlama: Oh, JPatterson, your plots endlessly amuse me.

Alesand: They are amusing if one is heavily drinking with a side of crack.

“What if we don’t believe all that stuff?” I asked, and Melanie drew back and blinked. Had the file on me not mentioned my whole “uncooperative” thing?

EmotedLlama: I’m really tired of JPatterson doing this same scenario over and over again.

Alesand: I doubt I’ll find any crack, but I do have a tiny bottle of Admiral Nelson’s Caribbean Rum.

“We won’t ask you to do anything you don’t believe in,” she said sincerely. “If, after working with us, you don’t think what we’re is worthwhile, then you’re free to leave, and you don’t have to publicize our cause.”

Alesand: Why did they choose the flock? Why?!

“You’re free to leave at any time,” Brigid said quickly. “The only reason you’re here is that Dr. Valencia Martinez recommended you. I took a course from her when I was getting my doctorate, and we’ve kept in touch. She called me a few days ago.”

That made sense. I still got a little thrill every time I realized that Dr. Martinez was my mom. That would never wear off.

EmotedLlama: …What? What makes sense, Max? What does getting a thrill about Dr. Martinez being Max’s mom have to do with Dr. Martinez calling Brigid? How does JPatterson fail at coherency SO HARD?

Alesand: I have a saying a friend told me. Listen to your elders, but only follow the advice of your WISE elders. The kooky ones are there just for amusement.

“Okay,” I said. “We need to think about this and talk it over; me and the flock, I mean.”

“Of course,” said Michael. “Let us know if you need any more information. Are you guys still hungry?”

“We’re always hungry,” said Nudge.

“We need between three thousand and four thousand calories a day,” I explained. “When it’s warm.”

The scientists unsuccessfully tried to hide their surprise.

EmotedLlama: Those scientists aren’t very smart, are they? Although I question why the flock would need extra calories when their wings aren’t in use. Isn’t the only reason they need the energy because of their wings?

Alesand: The “scientists” must have graduated from an unaccredited degree mill college. I wish the flock would grow to be so fat that they can’t fly.

“Um, well, let’s see what we can rustle up,” said Brigid, leading the way to the galley.

“Thanks,” said Fang. “Appreciate it.”

I watched him follow her out the door, his dark head maybe six inches higher than hers. She looked back at him and smiled, and that’s when I got an icky feeling in the pit of my stomach.

EmotedLlama: *HEADDESK*

Alesand: I’m opening the rum NOW!!!


6 responses »

  1. Whatever happened to Max’s cookie addiction? Surely the scientists could just make the Flock do whatever they want by waving a cookie in front of their faces.

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