Maximum Ride: MAX Spork Part 3


Chapter 19

Max and Fang are outside at night, and talk about Nudge a bit before deciding to make out instead. Then they head back to their safe house, and its lights are all on. Apparently this is a bad thing.

Chapter 20

Evidently, Max’s mom is gone.

Chapter 21

According to Nudge, Ella (Max’s half-sister, if you don’t remember) called and said that Max’s mom disappeared at the airport. Then a guy from the COALITION TO STOP THE MADNESS OooOooOoOOOo calls.

I motioned to the others to get inside and lock the door, turn off the lights. (pg 91)

That’s a very… interesting motion.

According to the guy on the phone, Max’s mom was indeed kidnapped, and they were sent a fax with an image of her, along with a message that said she would only be released if the Coalition to Stop the Madness stopped putting pressure on big businesses. Max thinks that this is the doing of Mr. Chu, and after she gets off the phone there are apparently “thingies” outside.

Chapter 22

This time the “thingies” have guns, and one outside says Max’s name twice. Max gets the flock, minus her and Fang, upstairs, then looks outside and the thingy saying her name looks just like Ari!

Chapter 23

These chapters are short and boring. *Sigh*

Max fills Fang in on Mr. Chu, then theorizes that the robot outside saying her name is a human that had the robot parts built into them. She thinks this because he’s “oddly human”.


Chapter 24

Then suddenly thunder starts rumbling. This is strange, because they’re in the desert. Then there’s lightning and all the “thingies” seem to die.

Gazzy explains, and says that “we” (I’m assuming that by that he means him and Iggy) saw that a storm was coming, disconnected the lightning rod on the house , aimed it at the “thingies”, and “enhanced its powers a tad”.

So: A storm materialized in about 20 seconds, just happened to send of lightning really quickly, and Gazzy got up to the roof for no reason, managed to disconnect the lightning rod that was there for no reason, somehow “enhanced” it, and pointed it at the “thingies” which somehow channeled the electricity at them?

That’s six things wrong with that. WHYY

Chapter 25

The guy from the Coalition to Stop the Madness calls, and says that he’s got a car coming for the flock. This chapter is less than a page in total.

Chapter 26

Nudge says that she wants to stay, and Max lets her. Good for you, Nudge!

Part Two: We All Live In A Deadly Submarine

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

Chapter 27

They arrive at their destination, a military airfield, and John, the guy from the Coalition to Stop the Madness, says that they’re flying to San Diego on a military jet to talk to the FBI at a Navy base. Why he’s going, I don’t know.

Akila, the dog that Total is in love with, is also there. Rrrrrr

Chapter 28

The flock are at their new destination, where the words “debriefing” and “naval” send them into laughing fits. This makes me extremely mildly annoyed.

Chapter 29

The debriefing first shows a recent video of birds swarming around something in the water and a nearby fishing boat getting wrecked by an unknown thing in the water. Then there’s some CSI “ZOOM! ENHANCE!” idiocy done on the image of Max’s mom to prove that she’s alive. They see that there’s a porthole, and that outside the porthole is a piece of wood that has the wrecked fishing boat’s name on it.

This book is really terrible.

Also, the video’s source is evidently unknown, as they were able to find the words “the birds are working” in its audio, but don’t know what it means. We’re never actually told about where the video comes from, too.

Chapter 30

Another numbered list. Yay. The only useful information in it is that they’re flying to Hawaii (where the video was filmed, don’t ask me how anyone knew that) and that Brigid Dwyer is there.

Oh, and then voice calls Fang Max’s soulmate. Wonderful.

Chapter 31

Max is angry at a Navy woman because the woman is saying that the flock (not Brigid or John, apparently) can’t go on the Navy ship they were apparently planning on boarding until they pass a week-long survival test.

Tell me again why the flock and two random scientists are going on this excursion to find Max’s mom?

Also, Max isn’t sure if it was actually the voice with the soulmate stuff, or just her wishful thinking or Angel. Me, I’m not sure why JPatterson felt the need to have this horrible subplot.

Chapter 32

I’m nearly halfway through this book already. This is not going to be a long spork.

This chapter is about the flock making an ensign uncomfortable before going off to take the test.

Chapter 33

Max is very confident about the flock’s ability to pass the test since they lived on the run for a while. Never mind that their survival knowledge is mostly of the “steal food, from dumpster if necessary” and “get a magic bank account” variety.

Chapter 34

Max effortlessly takes down the self defense instructor, because being taught by a random scientist and then fighting for her life against robots definitely gives her that kind of skill. There is no reason for her to be good at any kind of fighting other than the  “desperately claw at my enemies” type.

But no, she even wins against him in a rematch. Because she’s just. That. Special.

Chapter 35

The flock are also super special at obstacle course type skills. Also, for some reason Max says that they can just fly over walls, but she’ll still crawl under barbed wire. Right.

Max talks more about how the flock were designed to be strong and fast and light, etc., even though they were given bird genes, not made to be superhumans. Also, the flock seem to be on track to complete the test in a day or two, which makes no sense. If it’s a week-long test (and that’s with exceptions being made–normally it’s supposed to take three weeks), either the tasks are time-consuming or people fail constantly at them before succeeding. If it’s the former, there’s no reason for the flock to be significantly faster, and if it’s the latter, it sounds like a pretty poor test.

Anyway, that’s where I’ll end for this week. Come back next time for more adventures in The Flock Are Special.


4 responses »

  1. Damn. This is shaping to be even worse than book 4! Events occur randomly, excuses are given, and we are all left with a headache. I am glad to have not read this recently as my brain cells would have melted and I would flunk my classes!

  2. You know, when I first read the first book years and years ago, I felt so stupid for not being able to follow what was going on or why they were acting so chill about everything. I’m so glad that it’s the books, not me, that is [censored]. Also one question, because I think I’ve interpreted things wrong. But WHY THE HELL DOES MAX TRUST JEB? Wasn’t it established that not only did he let his daughter be experimented on, but allowed his SEVEN [censored] YEAR OLD SON to be turned into an EBIL! Genetic experiment with the body of a European male model and an expiration date of like six months or some bull[censored] like that? Or is it okay because JPat decided that in order to give THE BRAINWASHED SEVEN YEAR OLD redemption by KILLING THE [censored] OUT OF HIM.

    Also sorry I know the last bit is a bit off topic, but I’m genuinely wondering and certain I’ve gotten it wrong, but I only discovered this blog two days ago and just got caught up so I thought I’d ask it on the one you’re most likely to check replies on.

    • Ooh, glad you like the sporks! It’s always nice to see another person who doesn’t care for the books.

      It’s probably my fault you misunderstood, since I gloss over a lot of stuff, but after seeing Jeb with the evul scientists in book one, Max doesn’t really trust him. She’s become more generally wary than outright “blargh I hate you”, but she still doesn’t really care for him or want to go along with him that much.

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